True Friends: The Art of Listening Without Judgement

Advice I've found is often is a tricky thing both to give and to receive. Especially the unsolicited sort. But listening, ah that's another matter.

There's an anonymous quote I've always liked:

'By listening you can bring another man's soul into being.'

Perhaps it's the fact that someone is giving you their undivided attention, without judgement, which allows you to see your problem in a clearer light. But the crucial bit here is 'without judgement!' Otherwise, alas, the listening value can quickly disappear.

I'm so appreciative of those generous friends who're willing to give me moments of their time when I've been really stuck. It doesn't need to be hours and hours. Sometimes I've found the very moment I declare the difficulty, the solution pops into my head! Maybe it's because saying something out loud is very different from it rattling around in your mind.

You can always write it out - I've done that a lot over the years. The very words, 'writing it out' have a significance in themselves. It's a powerful way of removing my own negativity and looking at the matter objectively.

There's a wonderful friend who's been exactly that for many years in my life. She's created a special time, early in the morning, when any of us can ring her and know she's available to listen. This is such a joy - I'm forever grateful to her.

But now I must do a quick rant! Why do we all have to text and email all the time now? Why do I nowadays - in fact for some years - apprehensively telephone anyone without due warning? Except for a few trusted friends who aren't going to express irritation or panic, lest my call heralds some disaster.

I suspect this rant is a reflection of Increasing Age! In fact, six years ago I wrote a piece about friendship with some entertaining quotes from anonymous sources. You'll find it on Anna's Enquiring Alphabet.

Here’s one of my favourites:

A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg, even if you are half-cracked!